Dead Pigeons, Long Names, Hell

Walking down the pedestrian strip by my house, I ran across a beautiful white pigeon lying dead in the middle of the sidewalk. An interesting thing about pigeons: I see seemingly thousands of them in the city, yet hardly ever see one dead. Maybe they are immortal? Or go to the ancient pigeon burial grounds deep in the mountains? Who knows? Anyways, a dead pigeon. Middle of the sidewalk. Beautiful sunny day.

A quick prayer to Kshitigarbha (why are all the names of the Buddhist "deities" long? I mean look at them: Bhaisajygura, Samantabhadra ...). S/he is the Bodhisattva who has vowed to help those who find themselves in Hell. I asked that should the pigeon find herself in Hell (although to be honest, I'm not exactly sure what a pigeon would do that that would merit Hell (sounds like a good Stephen King story to me!)), that Kshitigarbha would help it ascend into a higher reincarnation. Then a quick visualization of the pigeon flying in circles around a sitting Buddha. Not sure if any of that did any good, but who knows? Better than just passing in silence or apathy. (Quick note: Buddhism says that nothing is eternal. Not the gods, not the universe, not you yourself. Since everything changes, Hell is also mutable. Unlike Christianity, where the damned stay damned forever, in Buddhism, they eventually reincarnate once their bad karma is burned off. Not unlike Catholic purgatory).

Buddhist wisdom / theology has it that animals can not become enlightened, that they must reincarnate into a human form to do so. This always seemed suspicious to me. How do we know what other lifeforms are capable of? In the same way, traditional Buddhist theology says that a woman cannot be enlightened, that she must reincarnate as a man to do. This despite the many great women leaders and nuns of Buddhism.

Also despite the Soma sutra

"What difference does being a woman make when the mind's well-centered, when knowledge is progressing, seeing clearly, rightly, into the Dhamma. Anyone who thinks 'I'm a woman' or 'a man' or 'Am I anything at all?' — that's who Mara's fit to address."

(Soma Sutta: Sister Soma" (SN 5.2), translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. Access to Insight, June 7, 2009, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn05/sn05.002.than.html.)

Am willing to bet that the monks who made this misogyny part of traditional Buddhism were people I would not have liked...

Speaking of long Buddhist names, a joke I read once (not sure where...)....

A man dies, goes up to heaven. St. Peter says, "What religion are you?
"I'm Christian."
"Oh yeah? Prove it. Spell bible."
"B-i-b-l-e."
"Okay, come on it."

A woman dies.
"I'm Hindu."
"Spell Ram."
"R-a-m".
"Okay, come on in.

A Jewish man dies.
"Spell God."
"G-o-d"
"Okay, come on it."

Finally, a Buddhist man dies.
"Spell Avalokitesvara."

(Well, I laughed at least.)

Speaking of Buddhist Hell, a Buddhist story set in Hell. (I think it's a traditional story, but I could be wrong about that, as I've only read it in one source.)

The Buddha is hanging around in a garden, and happens to look down into a hole. Because he is the Buddha, he can see all the way down into Alvici Hell, which is the lowest of the Hells. He sees a murderer down there roasting in the flames of Hell. The man looks up, see the Buddha looking at him, and begs the Buddha for help. The Buddha feels compassion for the murderer, so he asks a spider to let down its web to help him. The man grabs it and starts to climb up to freedom. But all of the damned souls in his vicinity see him escaping, and of course, they want to go too. So they climb up after him. The murder tries to climb more quickly, afraid the web-line will break from the weight, but they're swarming up after him. When they get close, he has an idea. He whips out his knife and cuts the line just under his position, and they all fall back into Hell. "Ha!" he thinks. "That will show them!" Just then, due to his lack of compassion for others, the line between him and the outside also breaks, and he also falls back into Hell.